I have to explain how & why I suffered 9/11 more than anybody I know in Portugal: simply because of being English; because of turning straight away to live coverage on BBC, Sky & CNN, which was 50 times stronger, deeper, closer and simply better than any of the Portuguese, Spanish or French channels I could have used; because of that awful term, 'special relationship'. We and the Americans are bound by commonality - linguistically, socially, culturally, historically. You may like this, you may hate it, but it remains an obvious fact (& how many Brits died on 9/11?); because of my own personal affinities & relations with the US; because of my own experiences of NYC; because of the Portuguese family in whose house I had spent the previous week, outside Évora in the Alentejo, who arrived for their first-ever visit - a 21st birthday present for their son - in mid-town Manhattan on the night of 9/10. I was desperate for news until they replied to my mail on 9/18, saying they were OK, but would never forget what they had seen on their first morning in NYC for the rest of their lives.
I was so traumatised that 2 months later, my doctor put me on a short course of anti-depressants. I had the idea of taking these pictures as an explicit attempt to exorcise the trauma of those appalling images of Flights 11 & 175 slamming into the TwinTowers.
The trauma was made more acute by the fact that Lisbon's Airport is unbelievably close to the city centre, so that we are all used to seeing arriving planes flying fast, low & so close over the city, apparently dodging in & out of the tallest buildings. On the days after 9/11, once I had been able to return to work, I kept having to look away from my office's grandstand view across the road from the park where my pictured towers stand.On a bitterly cold, crystal clear morning in January 2003, I went up to these towers, armed with a conventional SLR with 2 rolls of colour & black & white film. My idea was that if I could get a shot of a plane safely emerging from behind the towers, I could remove the WTC horror from my mind by enlarging the photo, framing it and hanging it on my wall. I did it. It worked. The black & white photo is the result, but unfortunately, I couldn't find the digitalised archive original tonight. So, I have quickly taken new photos of the framed photo, which is why the towers you see look distorted.
I don't post this to offend anyone, or shock. Quite the contrary. This was, & is, no joke. 5 years on, how many of you think the world is a safer place? And who do you think is winning the War on Terror? I know what I think.
Lastly, Robert, if you should see this, you are all beautiful. Your Dad would be as proud of what you have done as you are of what he did that day. [see www.holdthedoor.com]
11 comments:
Je m'en souviens très bien: je venais de rentrer à la maison et c'était la première nouvelle que j'ai entendue... Pauvres gens...
Que la terre leur soit douce!
même si le monde devien un lieu de plus en plus dangereux on a de la chance. l'homme ne perd pas la capacité de se soigner, de se réinventer, la capacité d'aimer et d'y croire.
j'ai lu ton post et j'ai eu un flashback jusqu'au moment où j'ai appris cette atrocité mais en même temps, je ne sais pas pourquoi, une chanson m'est venue à l'esprit:
...vous pouvez détruire
tout ce qu'il vous plaira
elle n'a qu'à ouvrir
l'espace de ses bras
pour tout réconstruire...
j'aime trop la vie.. malgré tout et je peux toujours me souvenir que si la vie me donne des citrons, je ferai de la citronnade
Wow that it had such a deep effect on you! Well every day we learn a little more about what is going inside you.
As long as you deal with the trauma and get your sanity back, you're not doing anyone no harm and yourself a lot of good.
PS: thanks for the mail I'll get back to you as soon as I do the week 12 scan next friday(I became kind of superstitious, and am trying not to think or talk about the baby untill then)
para mim, 11 de Setembro, data duplamente dolorosa: o Chile, o WTC!
goosebumps...
great posting Stewart, good of you to share. Thanks.
Não consigo entender que em nome de um Deus,seja ele qual for(e para mim,tenha ele o nome que tiver é sempre o mesmo)se destrua tantas vidas,tantos projectos tantas esperanças,tantos projectos,tantos desejos Não pode ser Pessoa, quem assim procede.E muito menos tem o direito de evocar Deus,seja ele Alá Cristo, Jeová.Não falando nas esposas,pais, filhos,amigos,daqueles que pederam a vida.nas Torres e nos aviões.
Hey Stewart
just read, and seen these amazing photos.
Love and kisses from your Sister,
xxxxxxx
Thank you all for your reactions to yesterday's post.
Pilar, que no dices nada sobre 9/11/73, un monde peuplé de gens qui pensent comme toi, qu'est-ce que çá nous apporterait...!!
Marjan, It is like El Corte Inglês, but with nothing for sale!
Joana, yes, I think so too.
Cantorouco, eu não disse que de facto, naquele dia em 2001, não deixava de pensar na mesma data de 1973, a do golpe esquecido.
mami reis, este é um mundo tão bonito é tão selvagem, cruel e feio no mesmo tempo. À qui la faute?
Luggi, we also find it too easy to hate. The urge to destroy must start in that somewhere, somehow. Don't want to get into psycho-babble, but one has to hate oneself
subconsciously in some way to actively decide to destroy another human's life for no decent motive.
Hi Stewart,
Thank you so much for honoring my family and our efforts with your story and picture. Your experience actually touches on one of our very foundational principles as we teach people to grow through loss. You offer a tremendous example of how to move in and not on. Your courage to understand your feelings and experience rather than avoid them. I am sure your efforts will have positive effect on people as they come across your pictures. Regards, Rob Fazio, Hold The Door For Others
That should make you feel very proud.xx
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