A few weeks ago that seem like months, the night before I stepped out of this world, I prepared a draft which consisted of these 4 photos. I don't know why. I put them into cold storage. Tonight, with a working pc for the first time in 9 days, I've decided to post them.
They are all that's left. Picasa2 died with the old motherboard, so no archives, over 26,000 photos taken across 20 months vanished someowhere. What Windows calls 'My Pictures' and that I changed to 'Visual Poetry' is not the same. They are raw versions, untreated. And I have no means of using them. not that I was going to for the foreseeable future, but I was used to lookingat them. With some prescience, I recently had almost 400 printed. They are fine and are also on a CD-R, as are many of the first 12 months on CD back-ups. So it's not so bad. Just a lot of work. If things work out and time allows, I've started to think today of pushing for an exhibition. From the various sources, I like this "Stranger's Insider/Outsider's View of Portugal going to a physical audience. I've never done one before, never wanted to; now I do. It's a kind of dream, which is no bad thing. i haven't taken a shot that matters in about 3 weeks. That for me is an eternity. It says a lot. That I haven't seen anything, no longer make sure the camera is with me when I go out. For years, photography has been not just my passion, but has been what has absorbed me every time things have been wrong, tough. Walking looking, looking walking, every day, night excursions, events, political rallies, music, everything,everyone, anyone, anything.
It has stopped. Like me. There are things that matter more, or should. I have changed, been changed, got exhausted, disillusioned....lost. Now I feel like I slipped anchor and I'm drifting on an ugly sea and everything I have known is far away. I have visited you tonight, but something stops me from saying anything. Feels like I find it difficult to say anything in that world that is only one part of what I feel outside of.
I have played you music that speaks. Now I'm giving you these last (for now) pictures. I like them. They are random. I think they say something too. But not about today, not about this me who was Mile Stones and Nowhere Man. If I find my way back, I will have a new name. Isaac? Icarus? Ascending? Descending? Melting?
Are you there? Say a prayer.
16 comments:
Yes, we're here... waiting for you...
Wow! These are awesome! I especially like the staircase. I appreciate you sharing these lovely photos. The tune was nice, too. ;)
Yes we are all here. Great pics.
Get back to us soon, everyone misses you, especially me. XX
Wonderful pictures Stewart,
I wish you the best and you get some calm waters in your life!
Great shots,Stewart. I hope that the weight lifts soon.
Mile
Not an easy place to be in, here, saying a prayer, one for you, one for me, one for all... I loved the stairs too.
How could losing a motherboard delete your photos - or did you also lose your hard drive? I know the feeling - my computer died 18 months ago, takign with it six years of baby and child pics, video clips of Ella, age 20 months, looking for worms under flower pots - I still wake up sad sometimes. It happened just before Hurricane Katrina - I told myself over and over how lucky I was to have only lost digital pictures! If you had to keep some, these that you have here are pretty great to have saved - they're among my favorites you've ever posted! Lovely song, too - wasn't familiar with him!
A Rose by any other name is still a Rose...........whatever you call yourself we will be here.
Rx
I liked all photos,especially the fourth one.
@deepak -It was taken six months back.
the survivors are beautiful. so, nowhere man finds his milestones and continues on his journey. eventually he returns and becomes the Comeback King
Love always Tiger.
I wish I felt strong enough these days to say out loud that YES I'm here and I always be, but I'm kind of weak lately, does it count if I say I'm here just whispering in your ears? yes my friend I am with you.
Loved the pics. Hugs Ani
Beautiful pictures as always. Thanks for posting them. We are still here for you.
Beautiful pictures from you.........saying a prayer.......
tea
xo
Beaux effets de plongée et de contre plongée. Mais dis moi, on n'a pas été présentés ! Tu t'appelles Icarus maintenant ?
Ou Icarus t'a viré de ton blog en te piquant ta photo de profil ?
Ces quatre photos me plaisent beaucoup beaucoup beaucoup
Et pourtant il n' y a pas un seul oiseau !!!! AHAHA !
This is my first time here...
loving your photos!
Dear Madame Urban Butterfly,
Very gratified to receive your comment. It's unfortunate that due to whole blend of "life problems", normal service is encountering obstacles right now, but do please use the archives and let me know what you think.
"Urban Butterfly" reminds me of one of my favourite French songs, "Comme Un Arbre Dans La Ville", which = "Like a Tree in the City", and is all about nature attempting to resist what humankind does with its urban spaces....XXX
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