(Photo, Lisbon February 2006)
Text below borrowed from M in Beijing at http://nablasquared.blogspot.com/ ,
it was posted independently in response to "Tomorrow", because it couldn't appear in that post as a comment.
I have thought aso much about all of the thoughtful comments that came in at the beginning of the week. I have decided that I will not add a follow-up, because this is not 'Oprah'. In the end, I realised that I had lit a touch-paper and it became a forum, with so many incisive, unique views, which I welcome whole-heartedly.
Last night, M asked me to come and read this. I found that it also added something important, the comment I made to it there actually serves for many of us. I see it as a strength when they are prepared to expose in public their observation & feelings of their own weaknesses in such a way. No moralising, no judgements. But conscience and awareness that heralds the possibility to use the strengths we have. The impact of that photograph mentioned towards the end is exactly what I felt. I just also want to add one thing, regarding Pequete's comments on the difference between small town and large city. I observe the same. Yet, it is also not impossible to go further in the large city. It is my intention to illustrate it soon.
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Re to Mile Stones 20061210 post
Dear Stewart, I feel sorry to come here so late. I'm sorry I can't have more to say -- I tried but I failed. (Moreover so many have already been said.) Memories and emotions and thoughts are choking me. Tomorrow. Christmas. Portuguese national flag. Wheelchair. Bank. Homeless. No I can't work it out. I always fail to work things out.
Once again I began thinking about things happening in China. I'm not going to write about them because there is too much to tell. I can't say whether things are better or worse here: I'm not justified to *make comparison* between these tragic scenes…
Then I remembered something. In August I met with a stranger in Beijing. He is from Italy and has been here two years ago. He showed me some photos he took during his last stay here. It was a girl he met in downtown Beijing -- a girl about sixteen or younger then, wearing the outfit that was typical of the Rural China -- but Oh God! I still feel the shock -- Her face had been totally distorted and disfigured by a terrible sickness. It was no longer human face.
The girl and her father came to the capital city of China from a poverty-stricken place for medical treatment but used all their money. They begged in the subway entrance, but the poor girl's face scared people off. And the "social security system" doesn't seem to be working well in China.
The Italian met them not long before he left China. He could speak some Chinese. He promised to help them and requested their home address. But his life was always on the run and the connection was lost together with the note page where the address was written. So he showed me then the photos and asked whether I had seen this girl. No.
I think what I felt then has something in common with my current feelings after seeing your photo. Misery and compassion swallowed me then with the shock. The Italian asked me whether I could help and I told him I could not. Then I realized my weakness -- I often lose heart when such things happen. I told myself the chance to find her was minimal. I gave up. I felt sad as if I were giving up a person I should have been able to help.
I suggested the man several possible ways to get help but I know they were not very likely to help really. We haven't met since then and nothing was heard about the Italian and the girl. I don't even know if the girl's sickness was dangerous to life, if she's still alive.
I also noticed your link to "Just one day of peace". In fact Dark Darling has notified me about that. Again my weakness prevented me from saying anything on that page. I know it. I can't help. But …
Thank you, Stewart. Once again I saw my own weakness, this time in the mirrored image from your photo. I am short in action.
But isn't it the same I who quoted the motto Laborare est orare? I am working and am praying but I don’t take actions…
7 comments:
So touching. I think we have all had those kinds of moments. Its what we do with them that can make a difference. I think this will spur me to action instead of staying in my comfort zone.
Hello, Mile. I was hoping it would go on a bit longer, but Nikon101 has correctly guessed my Hooded Blogger Friend already!
Thanks Mile for sharing M letter with us, thanks M for sharing your feelings. Your weakness and your strength are not too different form ours, I think all of us have mixed feelings many times when facing the cruel reality of the suffering people, but talking about how we feel so openly, showing our weakness, speaks about our strengths to admit we can not deal with everything in life. Sometimes things are so painful that we become frozen; I have become numb more times than I should have, maybe because I don’t know what to do, or just because my soul sometimes needs to see something beautiful instead.
I learned, as I said in one comment here, that I cannot help everyone in need, so I help this group of kids in Uruguay, and that helps me to feel better, but again…maybe it’s just an amend for my not helping many others. Nobody can say who is right or wrong, weak or strong, for life and reality touch us in so many different ways….
Keep on working and praying, believe it or not that is action M
Thanks again for your words
We should all be thankful to Mile for creating a place where people from all over the world can touch each other in this way. Peace!
Tu es le roi de la gent ailée, mile les oiseaux sont tes amis
J'étais en allemagne
Je suis juste venue te faire un petit bisou car je repars bientôt, pour le midi de la france cette fois
Cergie, tu ne peux pas savoir combien je suis touché par ton geste de faire une petite pause entre l'est et le sud pour me passer ce comment! Méchante, tu ne l'aurais pas dû, mais j'en suis très reconnaissant, quand même! Surtout après la semaine la plus pire dans l'histoire du Blogger.
Et tu as raison, les oiseaux et moi...Comme un oiseau. Faites de très bonnes fêtes et on se verra bientôt.
Lost for words this is so touching..You speak for many M when you share so openly and honestly
Thank you
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